


Hooked Into Machine

by DragonSilk



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Artificial Intelligence, Comedy, May be continued in the future., Robot!reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-16 04:53:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21265382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonSilk/pseuds/DragonSilk
Summary: You are Mr. Kaiba’s personal assistant. Helping Mr. Kaiba is your primary objective.Or, Seto Kaiba tries to program a robot with artificial intelligence to act as his assistant. The first few attempts are less than satisfactory.





	Hooked Into Machine

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting on my computer for ages. Ages I tell you. Bits have been posted to my Tumblr. 
> 
> I'm unlikely to ever expand this, but it could happen one day.

**Five.**

Seto Kaiba is standing in front of you. It’s the first thing that you note when you become aware of your surroundings. 

You complete the initial boot up process. He should be addressed only as Mr. Kaiba. He is your boss. You are Mr. Kaiba’s personal assistant. Helping Mr. Kaiba is your primary objective. “How may I help you, Mr. Kaiba?” you inquire. 

“Do I have any messages?” 

“I do not know the answer to your query.” 

“Can you tell me if my phone has any voicemails?” 

“I do not know the answer to your query.” You don’t have an answer for him, but you understand how to locate this information. “May I have access to your phone?”

He sighs and begins writing in his notebook. “Check for any recent emails.” 

“Clarification is required. Which email do you wish me to check?” 

He pinches the bridge of his nose. “My work email.” 

You look around the room and take note of a laptop sitting on the table behind Mr. Kaiba. You stand. 

“What are you doing?” 

“I am walking over to the nearest computer so I may check your email, Mr. Kaiba.” 

He throws his pen across the room. “Shut down.” 

You sit in your chair and the world goes black.

**Nine.**

When you wake up, Mr. Kaiba is waiting for you. 

Helping Mr. Kaiba is your primary objective. “Mr. Kaiba. How may I assist you?” 

“Please summarize my day.” 

You sync with Mr. Kaiba’s calendar. “You have three meetings, one conference call, lunch with Mokuba, and a review of the newest Duel Disc.” 

“When is the next appointment on my calendar?” 

It takes you less than a second to check the current time and find the next appointment. “Your next appointment is at eight a.m.”

He takes a moment to write something down in his notebook. You wait. He continues to write and asks, “Where is the next appointment?”

You scan the appointment. “There is not a location indicated.” 

His pen presses down into the paper as he writes. You determine that informing him he is close to ripping the paper does not fall under your objective of helping him. You have been programmed to speak as little as needed, and the likelihood that he will apply the extra pressure needed is slim even if the additional pressure required is small. 

“Can you provide more details regarding the appointment?” 

“Yes.” 

He draws a line across the page, repeating the motion three times. The paper tears the third time he drags the pen across. “Damn it.” He throws the notepad on the floor, dropping the pen with it. 

You reassess the information that prevented you from warning him. There must have been an error in your calculations. 

“Shut down,” he commands. 

Your assessment of the error stops as you turn off.

**Thirteen.**

Mr. Kaiba comes into focus. “How may I help you, Mr. Kaiba?” 

“Check my calendar for tomorrow.” 

You scan his calendar. “Would you like a summary of your day, or are you looking for specific information?” 

“Tell me what I need to know at the start of the day.” 

You prioritize the information on his schedule. “You have a meeting with the head of the marketing department at ten a.m. At 2 p.m. I show a meeting with Human Resources, but this meeting is unconfirmed.” 

He begins to write on the notepad in his lap. “Decline the meeting with H.R.” 

“Yes, Mr. Kaiba. Would you like to include a message with the notice that the meeting has been declined?” 

“No.” 

You decline the meeting request. “Is there anything else I can do for you, Mr. Kaiba?” 

He looks down at his notepad. “Check if I have any messages.” 

“You have a voicemail and ten unread emails.” 

He pulls his phone out. You wait for further instruction. He interacts with his phone. “Are any of the emails important?” 

“None are marked as important.” 

He frowns and sets his phone down so he can write on his notepad. “Would you consider any of the emails important?” 

“I do not have sufficient information to make this assessment.”

He doesn’t look up from his notepad. “Shut down.” 

**Twenty.**

When you boot up again, Kaiba is standing in front of you. “How may I help you, Mr. Kaiba?” You log into his calendar and his email. You note the date. It has been a while since you were last online. 

“Make a cup of coffee.” He gestures toward an espresso machine set off to the side. 

“Yes, sir.” You stand and walk over to the machine. Once you locate the model information, you download the instructions. Everything you need is sitting on the table so you follow the instructions, step-by-step, to brew a cup of coffee. 

Mr. Kaiba observes you, taking notes. 

The last step instructs you to enjoy the coffee. You determine this step will be performed by Mr. Kaiba and present him with the cup. He takes it and sets it aside on the table next to him. 

“Is there anything else I can do for you?” 

“How did you determine the coffee ground to water ratio?” 

“The tin has a ratio of two cups to one tablespoon.” You process his question further and wonder if there is another way to determine the ratio. A search of the subject indicates that the ratio may vary depending on individual taste. 

Kaiba makes a face, “You’ll want to use more coffee next time. About two tablespoons to a cup of coffee should do.” 

You store that information. “Yes, sir.” 

He writes more on his notepad. “Shut down.” 

**Twenty-Eight. **

When you boot up, you realize that additional files have been added to your programming. You load them and assess your new objectives. You are still Mr. Kaiba’s assistant first, but a secondary objective to care for Mr. Kaiba and ensure he does not overwork himself has been added. 

“Hello, Mr. Kaiba. How may I assist you today?” 

His attention stays down on his phone, and you wait for a command. As you wait, you begin running assessments on the current situation to determine if you can proactively offer your help. 

“Mr. Kaiba, you have a new voicemail from your brother, shall I play it for you?” 

“No.” He looks up. “Access my work email. I want you to compose a response to the most recent email from Kenta Hirose.” 

You locate the email that meets those parameters and open a reply. “Ready to transcribe.” 

“Hirose, do not send any further requests to fund this pet project of yours unless you want to look for a job elsewhere.”

You wait a full minute. “Shall I send the message, Mr. Kaiba?” 

“No. Save it as a draft.” 

“Done.” 

Kaiba begins to write on his notepad. You stay patched into his accounts, ready to let him know if anything important comes through. Then he receives a text from Mokuba Kaiba. “Mr. Kaiba, you have a message from your brother.” 

He continues to write. “Read it.” 

“Begin message. What do you want at sign Tsuta question mark. End message.” 

His writing stops for a moment, before resuming. He asks you to repeat the message, and you comply. He then picks up his phone, and you see the outgoing text that he sends back to his brother. 

“Mr. Kaiba, when did you last eat?” you query. 

He looks up at you. His mouth turns down in a frown. “Why would you ask that?” 

“My secondary objective is to ensure that you stay in good health. If you do not eat, that means I am not fulfilling one of the requirements of that objective.” 

“Enter diagnostic mode.” 

Your personality programming shuts down and your cameras turn off. You wait for the next command. 

“Access your system updates. Read off the last five users and the timestamp of the update.”

“Seto Kaiba, today at 11:42. Seto Kaiba, today at 1:29. Seto Kaiba, yesterday at 19:01. Mokuba Kaiba, yesterday at 14:18. Seto Kaiba, yesterday—”

“Stop,” he interrupts. “I should have known. Shut down.”


End file.
